CRISIS MANAGEMENT презентация

GONE BALLS OUT

reputation and five minutes to ruin it.”
In order to prevent the bad from getting worse, you need a foolproof plan to mitigate the disaster, cover up the destruction and, above all, deny the entire thing when human resources comes calling

reduced to a misdemeanor, provided you hire a lawyer who has represented at least one former child actor
If the destruction of property is accidental you are not guilty of a crime
Three foolproof “Not Guilty” excuses to ensure you cannot be charged for your actions, which could include but is not limited to, busting a window, tagging a building (or person), and trashing a hotel room:

“I slipped on a used condom”

“I was sleepwalking at the time”

“It was my evil twin that I haven’t met yet”

aged 18 or higher is involved in some form of nude sexting

WHERE DO SEXTS GO?

Share 17%

Lie About Sharing 83%

Of those that admit to sharing, 55% share them with one or more person. In other words, if you’re sending your junk, lots of people are seeing it.

Top Tips
Know your angles – avoid showcasing visible tattoos, hideous scarring, identifiable freckles or your company logo in the background
Less is more. (No one needs to see your O-face)
Filters are your friend – Dick pics look bigger in sepia tone

animals killed daily in the United States: 1 million
Odds of killing something when driving: 1 in 23
Odds of killing something when you’re late and desperate to get somewhere: 1 in 2
Odds of being able to “repurpose” your road kill: 1 in 9

Ignore it and keep driving

Hide it in a ditch and keep driving

Problem solved!

Determining your Post-Accident POA

Is the animal you hit bigger than a bread box?

No

Yes

and all office hookups
Uncomfortable, unwavering eye contact will get you everything
There is no such thing as a “risk-free” workplace. Find the flaw and exploit it for any questionable injuries sustained “on the job”
If you’re (literally) caught with your pants down, claim sexual harassment, discrimination or fake an epileptic fit

your rep:

Live like a boy scout. Always be prepared.
Hide any and all evidence.
Deny, deny, deny… and then blame someone else.